Making Time for What Matters: The Art of Time Creation

Ah, time. The elusive, ever-fleeting commodity we can’t seem to get enough of. We tell ourselves, “I don’t have time for that,” yet somehow manage to binge-watch an entire season of Stranger Things in one sitting. Time flies, and we’re often left wondering why we didn’t use it for the things that truly matter, relationships, self-care, personal growth, or simply having fun.

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re always chasing the clock, here’s the good news: You can make time. Yes, it’s possible. But it doesn’t require magic, just a little strategy and some well-placed humor. Ready to reclaim your time? Let’s dive in.

Tip #1: Learn to Say ‘No’ Without Guilt

You’ve probably heard it a million times: “Say no to things you don’t want to do.” And yet, somehow, saying no often feels like a moral failure. We tell ourselves, “If I don’t do this thing, I’m a bad person!” (Spoiler alert: You’re not.)

In the spirit of Gottman Therapy, think of saying “no” as part of your emotional bids for attention. Saying no isn’t rejecting others; it’s saying yes to your own needs. Imagine you’re trying to prioritize quality time with your partner. Saying no to an invitation that would distract from that time is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

You can even frame “no” as a gift. When you say no to something unimportant, you’re gifting yourself more time for something that aligns with your values. Next time someone asks you to take on an extra task, just smile and say, “I wish I could, but I have a date with my couch and a book.”

Tip #2: Get Comfortable with ‘Empty’ Time

Does it ever feel like there’s always something you should be doing? Whether it’s work, socializing, or scrolling through your phone like it’s a competitive sport, our culture has trained us to fill every second. But what if I told you that empty time, time when you’re not doing anything, is actually one of the most valuable ways to spend your day?

We can thank CBT for helping us rethink how we approach “doing nothing.” Our thoughts may tell us that we’re wasting time if we’re not constantly active. But in reality, doing nothing allows your brain to rest, your body to recover, and your soul to rejuvenate. It’s like giving yourself a much-needed timeout, but without the guilt.

Here’s the trick: Make space for “nothing” in your schedule. Whether it’s sitting in silence with your thoughts, taking a nap, or staring blankly at a wall for a few minutes (we’ve all done it), give yourself permission to rest. After all, you wouldn’t expect your phone to keep working if you never plugged it in to recharge, right?

Tip #3: Schedule Fun, Not Just Responsibilities

Here’s a thought: What if we treated “fun” the same way we treat work meetings? Imagine you open your calendar, and in between your to-do list and work calls, you see an appointment called “FUN.” It’s scheduled for 3 PM, and you can’t cancel it for anything.

Sounds ridiculous? Well, that’s the point. Most of us treat work as a non-negotiable part of our day but forget to make time for the things that light us up. You deserve fun, whether it’s going for a hike, grabbing coffee with a friend, or dancing around your living room like nobody’s watching.

Take a cue from Ego States Therapy: Your inner Child needs fun. It needs play. When you make time for it, you’re nurturing that part of yourself that’s been working way too hard lately. So go ahead, add “having fun” to your schedule. You’ve earned it.

Conclusion: Create Time, Don’t Just Manage It

Here’s the big idea: Time isn’t something you can control, but you can create it by being intentional with how you spend it. If you find yourself always saying, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself if you’re truly making time for the things that matter to you.

By saying no when needed, embracing rest, and making room for fun, you’ll be able to shift your focus from constantly managing time to actively creating it. So, go ahead, make time for what matters most, because those moments are what life is all about.