Relaxing Gives Me Hives
(and Other Summertime Struggles)
So, you tried to relax last weekend. You even set the scene: Book, lounge chair, iced tea, no Wi-Fi in reach. But three minutes into your so-called “downtime,” your brain whispered: “Shouldn’t you be doing something right now?” And boom, you’re reorganizing your garage in flip-flops.
Welcome to the guilt spiral that comes with relaxing. Women especially have been conditioned to believe rest is a luxury, not a right. If you’re not multitasking, are you even trying?
But here’s the science-y truth: Rest isn’t lazy. It’s a biological need. Downtime is how your brain reboots. It’s the Ctrl + Alt + Delete your nervous system desperately craves.
Think about it—when was the last time you felt actually rested, not just "less exhausted than usual"?
Reflection Tips:
Redefine rest. Rest doesn’t always mean naps and spa days (though yes, please). It might look like staring at the sky for 5 minutes or letting yourself daydream. Schedule “white space” into your week, time that’s unstructured on purpose.
Identify your guilt triggers. Who told you rest was wrong? Was it your mother? Capitalism? Your 7th-grade teacher who gave you a B+ because “you could’ve tried harder”? Reflect on where that belief came from and consider this: maybe they were wrong.
Practice “intentional loafing.” Yes, loafing. Like a cat. Sit on the porch. Don’t answer texts. Don’t reorganize your spice drawer alphabetically. Just loaf. Feel the sun. Watch squirrels. Be gloriously, intentionally idle.
Summer is a season designed for slowing down. Nature does it. Your cat does it. Your Wi-Fi even slows down. So maybe it’s okay if you do, too.
