How Do I Know If I’m Making Progress?
(When It Doesn’t Feel Obvious)
Many women assume progress should feel dramatic.
Clear.
Visible.
Obvious.
We expect it to arrive with confidence, motivation, and a satisfying sense of “Yes, I’m doing this right.” Maybe even a before-and-after moment we can point to and say, “There. That’s proof.” But real progress rarely announces itself like that. More often, progress is quiet. Subtle. Easy to overlook. And because it doesn’t match the dramatic version we imagine, many women assume it isn’t happening at all.
Why Progress Feels Invisible
One of the most confusing things about growth is that it doesn’t eliminate struggle.
You may still:
Have hard days
Feel uncertain sometimes
Get tired, overwhelmed, or discouraged
Struggle more than you think you should
So you look at your life and think, “If I were really making progress, this wouldn’t still be hard.”
But that assumption sets an impossible standard. Progress doesn’t mean life becomes effortless. It means your relationship with difficulty slowly changes. And those changes are easy to miss especially if you’re focused on what hasn’t changed yet.
Progress Is Often a Shift, Not a Leap
Many women expect progress to show up as big, visible milestones. But more often, it shows up in smaller shifts:
You recover faster after a tough moment
You notice unkind self-talk and interrupt it
You try again instead of quitting entirely
These moments don’t feel dramatic. They don’t come with applause. And they’re easy to dismiss as “not enough.” But they matter deeply. They are signs that something is changing beneath the surface even if it doesn’t look impressive from the outside.
Why We Miss Our Own Growth
There’s a very human tendency to raise the bar the moment we reach it.What once felt impossible becomes expected. What once felt like progress becomes the new baseline.
You might think:
“I should be further along by now.”
“This shouldn’t still be hard.”
“Other people seem to be doing better.”
But that doesn’t mean you haven’t grown. It means you’ve adapted.
You’re standing on new ground and forgetting what it took to get there.
You’re Probably Doing Better Than You Think
If you look closely, you may notice changes you’ve been overlooking:
You don’t spiral as long as you used to
You recover more quickly after setbacks
You’re more honest with yourself
You’re willing to try again, even after disappointment
These shifts are quiet. They don’t show up on to-do lists or timelines. But they reflect resilience, self-trust, and emotional strength. Progress isn’t always about what you’re doing differently.
Sometimes it’s about how you respond when things don’t go perfectly.
3 Take-Away Tips
1. Look for Subtle Changes
Progress often lives in the small moments.
Pay attention to:
How you talk to yourself when things go wrong
How quickly you bounce back after a tough day
How often you show up, even when you don’t feel confident or motivated
Showing up imperfectly is still showing up. And doing so with less self-criticism than before is meaningful progress whether it feels like it or not.
2. Pay Attention to What You No Longer Do
Growth is sometimes easier to spot by noticing what’s missing.
You may:
Overthink less
Apologize less
Doubt yourself less
Spend less time replaying mistakes
Catch yourself before spiraling
These absences matter. Just because something isn’t happening doesn’t mean nothing has changed. Sometimes progress is the quiet relief of what no longer takes up so much space.
3. Expect Progress to Be Uneven
Progress is not a straight line. Some weeks move you forward. Some weeks feel sideways.
Some weeks are for rest.
All of it belongs.
If you expect steady, upward movement all the time, you’ll miss the natural rhythms of growth. Pauses aren’t failures. Slower periods aren’t setbacks. They’re part of staying human while still moving forward.
Why Comparison Makes Progress Harder to See
One of the fastest ways to lose sight of your own growth is comparison.
When you measure your progress against someone else’s highlight reel, your own efforts can start to feel insignificant. But you don’t know what their journey looks like behind the scenes — and it doesn’t need to be your benchmark.
Your progress only needs to make sense within your life, your energy, and your circumstances.
A More Honest Measure of Progress
Instead of asking:
“Am I where I should be?”
Try asking:
“Am I more honest with myself than I used to be?”
“Am I kinder to myself on hard days?”
“Do I trust myself a little more than before?”
These are powerful signs of growth even if they don’t feel dramatic.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re treating yourself with more honesty, patience, and care, you are making progress.
Even if it doesn’t look impressive. Even if it doesn’t feel obvious. Especially if it feels gentle.
Progress doesn’t need to be loud to be real. Sometimes the quietest changes are the ones that last. You’re doing better than you think.
