Your Time Tells Your Story: What You Prioritize is What You Value
Imagine someone follows you around for a week, not in a creepy way, but more like a documentary film crew, and records how you spend every hour of every day. Then, without any context, they’re asked:
“What does this person care about?”
Would they say:
“This is someone who values rest and balance.”
“They clearly prioritize connection and joy.”
…or… “This person seems to deeply worship email and stress-snacking.”
Here’s the kicker: how you spend your time tells your story, whether you’re aware of it or not. And if that story isn’t lining up with your values, it might be time for a rewrite.
Let’s explore how to realign your time with what actually matters—without needing to set your phone on fire or move to the mountains.
Tip #1: Time is Your Most Valuable Resource—Guard It Like Gold
There’s a reason we use phrases like “spend time” or “waste time”—because it functions like a currency. But unlike money, you don’t get to earn more. You only get to choose how you use it.
In therapy, especially in Gottman work, we talk about bids for connection—the small, everyday ways people show they want to connect. Time is often the currency of those bids. Whether it’s sitting down for a real conversation, helping with chores, or watching trash TV together, it all counts.
Ask yourself:
What do I claim to value most?
Does my time reflect that?
If you say your relationship is a priority but haven’t had a distraction-free conversation in weeks... it’s not about judgment. It’s about awareness.
Tip #2: Reevaluate Your Time Investments (Like You Would Your Budget)
Every few months, most people go over their finances to see where their money’s going. But how often do you check in on where your time is going?
Here’s a challenge:
Track how you spend your time for 2-3 days. Be honest. (Yes, include that 45-minute TikTok spiral.)
Then ask:
Which activities drain me?
Which nourish me?
What am I doing out of obligation versus alignment?
From a CBT perspective, this can be eye-opening. Many of our behaviors are habit-driven, not values-driven. We respond to thoughts like, “I have to answer this email right now” without examining whether it’s true, or helpful.
You might realize you’re spending 10 hours a week doom-scrolling but can’t “find” 30 minutes to exercise or journal. That’s not failure, it’s feedback. Use it.
Tip #3: Let Go of Time-Wasters (Even the Fun Ones, Sometimes)
Let’s be honest. Some time-wasters are really, really fun. But when we’re consistently choosing short-term entertainment over long-term fulfillment, that gap adds up.
Now, I’m not suggesting you become a productivity robot who never watches Netflix. (Please no. That’s how people snap and start talking to their Roomba.)
But Ego States therapy tells us that when our Child ego state is driving 24/7, it’s all about instant gratification. Your Adult ego state? It knows how to delay a little pleasure now for a bigger reward later.
This doesn’t mean cutting all the fun, it means making room for the fun that also aligns with your values. Fun and fulfilling? Now that’s next-level time management.
Try this:
Replace 30 minutes of scrolling with 30 minutes of something that matters (even if it’s just laughing with a friend).
Delay the binge-watch by 20 minutes to journal or reflect.
Let your time reflect your ideal self, not just your tired self.
Bonus Humor Break: Your Google Calendar vs. Your Real Life
Google Calendar:
🟦 Meditation – 6:00 AM
🟩 30-minute run – 7:00 AM
🟪 Finish work project – 9:00 AM
🟨 Cook healthy lunch – 12:00 PM
🟧 Journaling and reflection – 9:00 PM
Reality:
😴 Snoozed alarm 3 times
☕ Spent 45 minutes watching dog rescue videos
📧 Checked emails, forgot what you were supposed to do
🍕 Ate leftover pizza over the sink
📱 Fell asleep mid-scroll on your phone
It’s fine. Life happens. But if this version is happening every day, it might be time for some gentle edits to your time-story.
Rewrite Your Time, Rewrite Your Life
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You just need to get curious about how you’re spending your time.
Time doesn’t lie. It reflects what you’re prioritizing, sometimes by default, not design. But the beauty is, you can redesign anytime you want.
So start small:
Make a list of your top 3 values.
Compare them to your schedule.
Make one tweak this week to realign your time with what you say matters.
Your time is your story. And it’s never too late to write a better chapter.
